This article was originally published on Kueez
In nature, size really does matter. From colossal carrots and cyclopean cabbages to gargantuan grizzlies and killer crocs, you're about to witness the strength, power, and might of nature. So please sit back, relax, and grab the biggest cup of coffee you've ever seen as we run through this list of enormous creatures, objects, and even people. We promise one or two will have your jaw on the floor!
Buffalo Soldier In The Heart Of America
So, let's get the ball rolling with the perfect example of what the term "Absolute Unit" means. Just so that everybody's on the same page: it's slang for something that's LARGE. This bison is an absolute unit. The guy tagging and taking blood tests doesn't look too tall, but even so, the bison's head alone must be five feet from top to bottom.
So just imagine the rest of him! This male specimen weighs around 3,000lbs, which is around 1.5 US tons, or roughly the same as Toyota Camry.
This Enormous Baobab Tree
It's not just fauna that nature can serve up amazing examples of, it's flora as well. This baobab tree covers as much ground as a house and, if the rumors on the internet are to be believed, it could be as old as 6,000 years old.
Unfortunately, 45 seconds of research proves that's not true. This particular tree was carbon-dated after it died and was found to be only 1,060 years old, while the oldest known specimen is 1,275 years old. So, while this baobab may be the largest, it's not the coolest; there is a baobab tree in South Africa with a pub inside it!
An Absolute Unit Of A Gray Percheron
Believe it or not, these two photos are of the same horse five years apart. This fine beast is as almost as tall as a basketball hoop and is a Gray Percheron––a breed of strong draft horse who transition from a black coat to a gray coat as they grow older.
Percherons originated in the Huisne valley in the former Perche province of western France, from which the breed takes its name. In addition to towering over humans, Percherons are known for being clever and willing to work, though they will probably eat all your food.
Super Sized Maine Coon
He might have a name like a model of car, but Vivo is actually a rather majestic-looking breed of cat called a Maine Coon. In the picture on the left––at eight weeks old––he looked just like a normal kitty, and while his owners expected him to grow, they were in for a surprise!
Vivo's owners must have had no idea that just four years later, they would have to bow down and worship this furry beauty as The King of All Cats Everywhere!
When Is A Horse Not A Horse?
Hay! When is a horse not a horse? When it's a tank disguised as a horse. You could send this bad boi into battle, and he'd single-handedly lay whole cities to waste and make it home in time for dinner!
Here he is working transporting timber like they used to in the olden days when there were still such things as forests. Thinking about it, using lumberhorses does make sense rather than trying to drive massive machines through forests.
This Giant Monster Of A Dog
Why this dog is waiting at traffic lights, we have no idea. He could just ignore the lights and cross the road. If he were to be hit by an 18-wheel Mac Truck, the truck would come off worse. Then he would pick himself up, lick himself clean, and laugh in the truck driver's face.
That said, this good boy obviously a massive softie, judging by the Winnie the Pooh soft toy that seemingly goes everywhere with him. Just don't try and take Winnie away from him, or you'll be dead meat!
Keep Vampires Away Forever
This photo perfectly sums up when the recipe says you need two cloves of garlic, and you think, "I've got just the thing!" These massive garlic cloves could feed you for a week and will come in handy for when the vampire hordes invade next Wednesday.
If you do happen to stick to the recipe and include two of these bad boys, remember not to kiss anyone ever again, as they will melt quicker than a vampire in direct sunlight.
Just Look At That Tail
This Squirrel Cat––or squat for short––is what happens when cats finally catch up with and mate with squirrels. By day, he curls up by the fire, watches afternoon soap operas, and likes cuddles like any normal house cat. But when dusk falls, a stunning transformation occurs...
By night, he jumps from pine tree to pine tree with the greatest of ease, harvesting nuts and storing them underground for winter. Please don't ask the size of his nuts. You don't want to know!
Baa-Baa Bouncer, The Sheep In Wolf's Clothing
This photo and accompanying text are from Scotland, but don't worry; we will translate it for you. The word "Cannae" is Scots for "cannot," so the caption reads, "Cannot stop laughing at the sheep my dad saw today. Absolute Unit." This is the only sheep you'll ever meet who could find employment as a nightclub bouncer.
But, of course, the kid wouldn't be laughing if this beast was standing between him and a Glasgow nightclub saying: "No trainers, mate!" Trainers is the British term for sneakers. Mate means buddy!
We're Gonna Need A Bigger Couch
In addition to being an absolute unit, this giant doggo thinks he is a human! Just look at him. C'mon, what regular dog sits on a couch like that? The chain around his neck must be bigger than most people's belts.
He looks kind of sad, but don't worry, his mama loves him, even if the expression on his face suggests he's just done a minute-long silent but violent dog fart!
This Maine Coon Is The Size Of A Lion
Here's another Maine Coon for you. He may be less majestic than Vivo, but he's three times the size, and his Buffalo Bills-supporting owner looks to be struggling to hold him. Closely related to Norwegian Forest cats and Siberian cats, Maine Coons can weigh up to 35lbs and grow to four feet long.
But if you think their prey would hear them coming a mile off, they make formidable hunters despite their size and weight. It's a good job they can catch their own food else you'd need to be a millionaire to feed them!
The Biggest Avocado We've Ever Seen
The California Avocado Commission conducted research to find out if avocadoes are an aphrodisiac. The study concluded: "63% of the expert psychologists, nutritionists, and scientists surveyed considered the avocado an aphrodisiac."
Furthermore, "60% of respondents said that they knew of specific cases in which a person's love life had improved after consuming the yummy fruit." Unfortunately, the woman in this picture was unavailable for comment as she was "busy upstairs with her husband." Don't ask!
We Called This Guy Big Daddy
The person who posted this picture says their dad used to take them to feed the Buffalo outside of town when they were a kid, and it's no surprise they named this brutish behemoth Big Daddy!
Imagine how many buffalo wings you'd get out of Big Daddy. What do you mean buffalo wings don't come from buffalos? Shut up! There's no way they come from chickens! That makes no sense. Oh. Wikipedia reveals buffalo wings originated in Buffalo, New York state. At least we now know what that big boy eats to get so massive!
Absolute Unit Of A Cabbage
There's no information as to where this photograph is from but it could be Russian, making the lady a Babushka (grandmother) An Olympic shot-put performing Babushka! We wonder how many dishes this massive behemoth of a cabbage was used to make.
Perhaps she's about to make the village a year's supply of cabbage soup. Or perhaps she's going ten-pin bowling? No, we've got it; she's going to make some power-kraut!
This Cucumber Was So Big, It Was Mistaken For A Watermelon
This contributor's dad was so pleased with himself that he'd finally grown a massive watermelon. However, he was in for a big surprise when he sliced the juicy fruit open and found something rather different inside.
It turned out not to be a watermelon at all. Instead, he had grown a giant cucumber. It wasn't even a fruit; it was a vegetable! Oh, dad, you're such a vegetable sometimes!
The Largest Animal On Earth
The largest living animal in the world is the Blue Whale (Balaenoptera musculus). This specimen dwarfs this boat, which comes as no surprise as they can grow up to 100 feet (30 meters) long and weigh up to 200 tons... the same as 33 elephants.
If the idea of an animal this size scares you, don't worry! They feed almost exclusively on krill by sieving them out of the ocean water. Some of the biggest blue whales can eat up to six tons of krill a day!
Check Out This Adorable Giant Doggo
This giant doggo seemingly lives next door to the Babushka with the cabbage we've seen before. We're not sure what they're putting in the water up there, but it seems to have some kind of Captain America-like Super Soldier Serum effect on the local flora and fauna.
If you look closely, there's a super-sized mutant cat sitting on the chair behind Babushka. Seconds after this photo was taken, the dog ate both cats and Grandma. Or maybe not, we can't be sure.
Check Out This Colossal Seal
Just like people, some seals are happy being in their own skin. This colossal example doesn't care what anyone else thinks; he's as happy as a pig in mud!
On land, this blubbery boy is a danger to himself. He wouldn't be able to outrun a misfiring bulldozer. But the minute he lollops into the freezing water, he's as graceful and agile as an Olympic synchronized swimmer.
He's All Fluffy
This dog looks like she fell asleep in the hair salon while getting a perm and has fluffed up to the size of a small sheep! In fact, wait a second; we have a better comparison.
The poor permed pooch looks like Ralphie's little brother, all bundled up to go to brave the snow on his way to school in the Christmas Story movie! "I can't put my arms down!" ... "Put your arms down when you get to school!"
Up from the depths, 30 stories high, breathing fire, he stands in the sky, Snowzilla! This must be one of the biggest snowmen ever built and would have taken an army of local kids hours and hours to complete. We're impressed!
The little girl looks so happy, but she wouldn't be smiling if this beast had come to life like the icy fella in Raymond Briggs' famous Christmas story, The Snowman. Of course, if he did, he would stomp her. Oh, and if you're wondering where they got the giant carrot for his nose, keep scrolling!
Bob, I Miss You
This contributor posted this photo of their long-lost beloved dog along with the caption, "12 years ago, you stole my heart, 7 years ago you passed - I came across you in my old photos, hopefully paying you homage is allowed."
Of course, paying homage to Bob is allowed. He looks to be the best good boy ever. Standing an estimated 5'8", there should be a statue of Bob somewhere! All dogs go to heaven, and we hope you're happy chasing rabbits. RIP Bob.
Big Boi Manatees Eating Sweet Potatoes
At first glance, we thought maybe a shawarma truck had crashed off that bridge, spilling five uncooked gyros into the river. We're not sure the proper name for those huge spinning meat cones, but apparently, the meat loving Brits call them elephant's feet, which is a great image.
However, upon second glance, we realized that these weren't "elephant's feet" and were, in fact, manatees who had showed up to be fed. Also knows as sea cows, they can weigh up to a ton. We bet they are delicious. Just imagine them spinning on a skewer in a shawarma shop! Only kidding.
This Buff Chef Is The White House's Last Line Of Defence
Ladies and gentlemen, meet American celebrity chef and military veteran Andre Rush. The retired Master Sergeant of the US Army worked in the White House as a Chef for four administrations. Well, three administrations, as Donald Trump famously mostly ate fast food.
He's been in the news recently for his 24-inch biceps and muscular physique. But, instead of doing the 22 Pushup Challenge to raise awareness for the 22 veterans who take their own life per day, Andre did 2,222! Sounds like we made it up, but it's true.
The Peregrine Falcon (Falco peregrinus), also known as the duck hawk in North America, is the fastest animal in the world. They have been recorded diving at speeds of 242 miles an hour (390 kph) and even have special bones in their nostrils, so the air pressure doesn't damage their lungs.
With that in mind, you'd think that they would be sleek, graceful creatures. But this individual is built like a tank and doesn't need to dive to catch his food. After the gym, he just hangs around outside butchers shops and intimidates the staff into giving him choice off-cuts.
The Teeth On This Tiger Fish Will Give You Nightmares
The Goliath Tigerfish (Hydrocynus goliath) is found in African rivers and lakes like the Congo and Lake Tanganyika. The largest one ever recorded weighed 154 pounds (70 kg), but you should have seen the one that got away!
They are fierce predators and are associated with tigers in Africa because of their distinctive, proportionally large teeth. So if you see a No Swimming sign in Africa, take heed as one of these guys could easily take your arm off.
This Super Sized All-American Bald Eagle
This beautiful Bald Eagle (Haliaeetus leucocephalus) is such an all-American beast; he eats at McDonald's four times a day and goes super-size if staff remember to ask him!
While you might think she (for females are larger than males) got her impressive seven-foot wingspan from eating Big Macs, but as an opportunistic feeding sea eagle, she only eats Fillet-of-Fish... and the occasional Chicken McNugget! Is that cannibalism?
Please Sir, Don't Mistake Me For A Soccer Ball (Again)
Remember as a kid; if you wanted to play soccer but had no equipment, you may place your sweatshirt down on the ground to use as goalposts? But what did you do if you didn't have a soccer ball? You'd send little Jimmy off to find the nearest rotund bullfrog!
Okay, we're not really advocating kicking froggies, kids. That would be cruel. Look at how round this enormous guy is, though!
The Boy Who Cried Wolf
This puppy on the left was such a cutie when he was little. But his owner was in for a massive shock when he turned into one of John Snow from Game of Thrones dire wolves by the time he was just two years old.
By the age of three, he would have eaten the granny in this photo. By the age of four, he would be the size of Fenrir, the monstrous wolf from Norse mythology who caused Ragnarok by swallowing the sun.
Feline Fluff Monster Fashionista
Is this a giant fluffy brown and cream Maine Coon, or is it just a brown cat wearing his owner's fur coat? It's difficult to tell, but either way, he's a magnificent specimen.
Good luck telling him to scooch up to make room on the couch. This couch belongs to him, and he ain't moving for anybody! But he could be tempted by some smoked salmon because this furry fashionista obviously likes the finer things in life, judging by that fine fur coat!
This Enormous Echidna Came Into A Wildlife Sanctuary...
That title may sound like the start of a joke, but this massive ball of echidna had to go to the wildlife hospital when she got hit by a car. Don't worry, she's fine. Hailing from Australia and New Guinea, this egg-laying, milk-producing mammal may look fluffy and super cute, but don't be fooled.
Those powerful claws are built for digging and spiny ant-eaters use their spines for protection. Legend says that these animals can shoot their spines, but this is a rural legend.
This Walrus Blocking A Submarine Hatch
The Beatles famously sang "I Am The Walrus" but this aquatic beast has other ideas! He thinks he is The Only Walrus, and he can sing "Coo-Coo-Cachoo" to his heart's content. Hell could freeze over before we argued with him. Look at those tusks!
Boarding this submarine, he probably also thought he was using his tusks to fight in the Cold War. He was, in fact, taking part in the Cod War, a 1970s fishing territory dispute between the U.K. and Iceland. It's an easy mistake to make.
Is This The World's Biggest Pitbull?
Can you guess the name of this gargantuan pitbull? No, it's not "Yes, Sir... whatever you say, Sir," nor was he named Butkus like Sylvester Stallone's bull mastiff. Instead, his name is Hulk, and he eats puny humans like you for breakfast.
While no doubt a huge specimen, we've got to bring up something called forced perspective. Subjects in the foreground can look much bigger than they actually are. Forced perspective is one of the ways they made the humans look so big, and the hobbits look so small in The Lord of the Rings movies.
This Pic Of Mr Puddly Is Awe Inspiring
Looney Tunes cartoon character Tweety Pie wouldn't need his catchphrase "I Tawt I Taw A Puddy Tat.... I did! I did!" when Mr. Puddly is around! That's because you can't exactly miss him, so there would be no doubt about it!
We've featured several giant Maine Coons so far, and you should be able to tell them from their distinct features. But this enormous cat seems to be just a normal house kitten, who found the food cabinet when mama wasn't looking.
Gimli The Wonderhorse
This pony ain't very tall, but look at the girth! Remember the pony from The Lord of the Rings? He was called Bill, and The Fellowship abandoned him outside the Mines of Moria, where a tentacled lake monster ate him for lunch.
We would name this short but solid pony Gimli as we bet he'd be no good in a marathon but "very good over short distances." Short distances like an inch and three quarters. Or, if you're reading this in Europe, 4.445 centimeters.
Lots More To Love With This Kitten
This fella looks a little spooked but only because he can hear a can of cat food being opened from twelve miles away. That explains why he looks like a feline version of Eric Cartman from South Park!
Unless, of course, he (or she) is 90% fur and 10% cat. Which may well be the case. Imagine the size of the furballs it coughs up! They'd be like giant tumbleweeds but made of fur. And held together with cat spit.
Elvis Is An Absolute Unit Of A Crocodile
This saltwater crocodile––or saltie if you're an Aussie––is called Elvis, and he lives at Steve Irwin's famous Wildlife Park. Elvis weighs 1,100 lbs and clocks in at a shade under 15 feet long!
Elvis shot to worldwide fame when he stole his keeper’s lawnmower in 2011 and is known as the George Clooney of the crocodile world. Since then, he has recently celebrated his 55th birthday when he had a whole cow's leg as a birthday cake.
You Don't Get Many Of Those To The Pound
These Mulberries––or Morus alba to use their Latin name––are berry, berry big indeed. We believe that handful is enough to make at least one jar of delicious jam. So imagine the size of the mulberry bush they came from. It must be visible from space!
With these fine specimens, the old nursery rhyme "Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush" would take a week... on a train. Fact of the day, silkworms eat mulberry bushes, and without them, they can't spin their silk.
Absolute Unit Of French Macaron
Again, at first glance, we weren't sure what this pink and white specimen was. Someone on Reddit suggested it might have been someone's grandma's dentures really close to the camera. Then, when we realized it was a French macaron, we thought it might be another example of forced perspective.
But then we saw the lady's thumbs and realized it is absolutement énorme! Do you think she baked just this one macaron, or do you think she baked a batch of two dozen to save for later? If so, how did she afford an industrial-sized oven? Didn't think of that, did you? It's a good job we're here.
Beast of A Wandering Albatross
The Wandering Albatross is the largest flying bird in the world. Ostriches are bigger, but we don't think they should count as birds as they can't fly. Pterodactyls were bigger, but they weren't birds either. And they don't exist anymore, so forget we mentioned them.
With wingspans of up to 11 feet, these magnificent creatures can go for years without touching land, but they do need to touch down on the water to catch fish and rest. They also have complex and comical mating dances that take years to learn. It's worth it, though, as once they find a mate, they tend to keep them for life.
Check Out This Mighty Steed
This mighty steed is so muscly; it looks like a 1950s Superman comic book illustrator drew it. He might not be winning any races, but he has a muscle mass percentage of 110%. He can also fly, shoot laser beams from his eyes, and works for The Daily Planet.
Although with that impressive blonde mane, could it be Italian-American actor and 1980s model Fabio? Yep, the more we think about it, the more we think it's Fabio Lanzoni's half-human, half-horse son.
You're Telling Us That’s Not A Polar Bear
Hey you! Yes, you, in the baseball cap! What are you doing letting such an animal into your house? Don't you know polar bears are dangerous?
What do you mean it's a dog? She looks more like Avatar Korra's female polar bear dog Naga from The Legend of Korra. Or she might just be a Central Asian shepherd dog, also known as the Alabay or Alabai.
Absolute Unit Of A Carrot In Our Weekly Food Delivery Box
So remember the giant snowman from earlier? We reckon this must be where they found the giant carrot for his nose. Though how they got it twenty feet up to his head is anyone's guess.
The beast of a veggie actually turned up in this lady's weekly food delivery box. And we know what that dog is thinking. That worried expression on his face is because he knows what she's going to do with that carrot as soon as his back is turned. Use it for a snowman's nose, of course. Why, what did you think we meant?
Absolute Unit Of A Bear
We've seen some absolute beasts today, but if there's one I wouldn't want to fight, it's this guy. Despite the sign saying "Alaska Brown Bear" (who this guy ate), he is, in fact, a Grolar Bear or a pizzly bear. Although they are also sometimes called a grizzlar or nanulak. "A what?" We hear you cry.
Grolar Bears are hybrids of Grizzly Bears and Polar Bears. They mostly come from interbreeding in zoos, but they do also appear naturally in the wild. Because Grolars often walk on two legs, some experts believe the Yeti could be a Grizzly Bear / Polar Bear hybrid.
Why The Long Face?
This breed of dog is called a Borzoi, and boy, what a whiffer this good boy has! While they might get laughed at dog school, the Borzois sense of smell is so keen; they can smell a kipper on the moon. If there were kippers on the moon. Which there aren't
Borzois are also known as Russian Hunting Sighthound. Or before the 1930s, Russian Wolfhounds. They originated in 17th century Russia by crossing Arabian sighthounds with a more thick-coated breed, and their noses evolved so they could get their schnozzes to the bottom of dog food cans.
James and the Giant Pumpkin
No, it's not Donald Trump naked, this proud farmer––most likely from somewhere down in the deep south judging from his dental hygiene and that baseball cap––thinks he's just won the pumpkin growing contest. And yes... breaking news is just coming in now... ladies and gentlemen, we can announce we have a winner!
And the winner's name is James Wyatt Garth Brooks Ernie Ford III. We'll call him James and the Giant Pumpkin. Thinking about it, a Roald Dahl character could probably fly away in that thing... if it didn't weigh the same as a small car.
Fluffy, Grumpy Owl Cat
People often wonder what their pets are thinking, but it's pretty easy to guess with this fluff monster. She only has one thought on her mind. And that thought is "Feed Me Now... if you don't I'm gonna eat you!"
Looking like the Big Boss gatekeeping guardian at the end of a computer game––Dr. Robotnik, anyone?––she guards the table and keeps the fire lit through cold winter nights. We're glad to see that there's a guard on that fire cos sparks and kitty fur don't tend to mix!
This fellow is so ripped; he has a six-pack! That's why we're going to call him Dolphin Lundgren, even though he's not technically a dolphin at all. He's actually a Beluga Whale and was spotted flexing his muscles by whale watcher David Merron in Canada.
After posing for photos, he was surrounded by female whales and went off to cuddle with one of his admiring female groupies. And you thought the collective name for whales was a pod, not a group!
The Duck That Ate The Golden Egg
There are four possible explanations for the size of this bad boy! The first is that he swallowed the golden egg. The second is that he swallowed that soccer ball-sized bullfrog from earlier.
The third is the cruel practice known as gavage, a French word associated with fattening geese and ducks to produce foie gras pâté from their liver. Finally, he could just have eaten all the pies!
This Absolute Unit Of A Squirrel In Our Back Yard
We've all seen those acrobatic, Tom Cruise-like squirrels cracking assault courses to get to nutty treats set to the Mission Impossible music. They complete the stunts, collect their nuts and scamper off to squirrel their nuts away underground for the winter.
Well, this guy doesn't give a hoot. He's happy chillaxing. He doesn't need to bury his nuts. He's just gonna eat them here and now. Something tells us this fella is going to make it through winter just fine!
The Largest Toilet Seat In The World
As ever, we've saved the best for last! Some people like to call their toilets their throne, and this one is definitely fit for a king. In fact, it's fit for The King of Rock n' Roll himself, Elvis Presley.
On a diet of deep-fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, the former sex symbol ballooned to 350 lbs in his final days. His last words were, "I'm going to the bathroom to read," before dying on the john of a heart attack. It took three men to lift his dead body and––after the experience––they described themselves as "all shook up." Uh-huh-huh. That's all from us folks. Elvis has left the building.