This article was originally published on Kueez
The truth is that for the most part, humans enjoy looking at attractive things. This would explain why we "double-tap" on beautiful views, beautiful cars, and beautiful people when scrolling through Instagram (Oh, and cute puppies as well, obviously.) However, there is also a side of us that is inexplicably fascinated by bizarre, weird, or just plain ridiculous things. If you can relate, you're in for a treat because this next collection of absurd visual gems is going to make you laugh, cry, and anything in between.
Please Don't Hit Pea
If you were to search 'cutest vehicle in the world ever' in Google, this might just be the first result. Completely ridiculous — and probably prone to being crushed on the highway by an oblivious truck driver — but undoubtedly cute.
It's unclear whether this little vegetable is actually road-worthy and if so, whether anyone has actually tried driving it. The license plate suggests not, so perhaps it's best deployed on a golf course, retirement village or, even better, a farmer's market.
But You Probably Will
Do you remember that psychology experiment where the subject was asked to sit at a table in a room for 10 minutes and the challenge was to not press the big red button sitting across the table that read: "do not press"?
Well, this painfully tempting exhibit reminds me of that. Much like the psychology experiment, We're pretty sure everyone who walks into that antique shop does exactly the opposite of what's being asked of them. Honk!
If Kelis' milkshake brought all the boys to the yard, then this bubble bath will certainly be bringing them to the tub. This accidental work of foamy art truly redefines the term "bubble butt". It's truly a marvel to look at, don't you agree?
The question is, did the person who ran this provocative bath actually get in it, or did they spend all night staring down at their creation? Guess we'll never know. Bummer.
Avert Your Eyes Please
You can almost picture the person writing this sign, sticking it on the counter, taking a moment to look at it and then thinking, "hmm, that really does sound quite passive-aggressive." But the sign communicated exactly what they wanted to say, and sticking a lazy "please" on the end just wouldn't do the trick.
That's the reason for the actually-quite-sweet explanation. No one likes to make anyone feel nervous, so we'll happily stare at our feet for you, phone repair person!
Don't Know Who Needs To Hear This But
Let's be honest, as far as gimmicky pillows go this one's pretty good. If you've ever wondered why little packets of silica gel are placed in all sorts of products, it's because silica gel is a desiccant — it adsorbs and holds water vapor.
Why the silica gel manufacturers feel the need to tell consumers not to eat the stuff is anybody's guess. Perhaps there was an epidemic of silica sachet munchers in the late '90s or something? Who knows.
Perhaps this mug was predicting the year 2020? Either way, the accidental placement of that sale sticker is genius, and hopefully whoever bought the mug (assuming someone did) kept it on there until it had to go in the dishwasher.
Is anyone else now curious about what is written under the sticker? 'The future is... bright?' That would be typical of an annoyingly upbeat message written on a mug. Let's keep the sticker...
With A Side Of Terrified Please
This has to be the most terrifying thing we've seen all day! Hopefully, for this person's customers' sake, this face mask is a Halloween special rather than her everyday wear... but somehow, we have to admit that we doubt it.
In a way, it's made even more realistic — and therefore scarier — by the face visor, the reflection of which sort of the blends her face at first glance. Okay, can we stop looking at this photo now? Thanks.
Well, you know what they say about Vincent van Gogh: ear today, gone tomorrow! There is something so perfect about this mug. It's now totally useless, of course, but perfect nonetheless, and oddly satisfying for any art lover with a sense of humor.
In case you're wondering what this is all about, it's a reference to Vincent van Gogh, the legendary Dutch painter who, in a fit of dementia, threatened his friend with a knife before turning it on himself and mutilating his ear lobe. Yikes.
We're not sure if Sesame Street fans would love this 'pickled Elmo' or be slightly disturbed by it. We'd err on the side of disturbed, as anything pickled (aside from an egg or a gherkin) is usually terrifying.
Poor old Elmo. Hopefully, someone paid the $10 to release our favorite Muppet from his pickled captivity! Or maybe some sadistic parents paid to keep him in his jar and finally get some peace and quiet.
Whether you'd like this on your bedroom wall or not, you have to admit this alternative and quite terrifying Mona Lisa is furry, furry impressive. Sorry, we can't resist a bad pun when we see one!
The facelessness of the portrait makes it a little creepy, plus the fur itself is asking to be ruffled and messed with. Aside from that, we're sure Leonardo da Vinci would be, erm, flattered?
All the other ponies in the field can't understand why Trevor likes painting his hooves with black nail polish, listening to My Chemical Romance on repeat, and writing things on a piece of paper, then taking a selfie with it.
That's the point though. They're not supposed to get it, obviously. Trevor just wishes all those mainstream ponies would leave him in peace to stand by the fence with his black hoody pulled over his head.
Stuck In First Gear
They say it's not the size of the boat that matters; it's the motion in the ocean. Or in this case, it's not the size of the gear stick that matters; it's the smoothness of transition through the gears.
Sadly, if the state of the car interior is anything to go by, the transition through the gears looks likely to be anything but smooth. You can almost smell the stale cigarettes from here...
What You See Is What You Wear
Oh look, a "Yanny or Laurel" inspired dress, how chic! Do you see blue and black or white and gold? It doesn't matter anymore, since this expertly sewed (lol) dress covers both bases.
Wearing this dress is certainly guaranteed to turn heads and get people talking, although probably not for the right reasons. Fancy being a walking internet meme? Fitting rooms are that way, ma'am.
When You Look Better In Person
This is the epitome of a badly timed photo. Let's be honest, if you crop this poor guy's shadow out of the picture he's looking great. Not many people can rock purple hair with confidence, remember.
Nonetheless, we can't move on without at least a small mention of the shadow. Has anyone seen the kids movie Despicable Me? Gru, the reformed supervillain? Okay, we'll stop...
Yes, this does indeed look horrifying, like something out of an unregulated food processing factory. The poor sheep's life was sucked out of it using a vacuum cleaner, and we can only hope it'll retain its shape once taken out of the bag.
On the other hand, upon closer inspection, this is also slightly genius. Did you have any idea a soft toy could be vacuum-sealed to this extent? You do now.
This Beats Gas Station Flowers
We're not sure what the person who put up these signs did to Andrea, but they sure are sorry. Whatever they did must've been serious, but presumably not so serious that they didn't want people enquiring about it. Presumably.
Either way, it's a bold apology statement and we're not mad at that. It beats gas station flowers any day. But let's cut to the chase: beans? Eat beans with me?! We can only hope this is an inside joke that Andrea will get, otherwise the grand gesture might not have quite the desired effect.
Maybe Give The Ball A Miss
Now, we don't mean to sound horrible, but it appears that Cinderella got mixed up with one of her ugly stepsisters. Let's be honest, not many of us would look our best in puzzle form but this does seem to be especially unfortunate.
Did the manufacturers of the puzzle not have second thoughts when they created it? Poor Cinderella. First, she's not allowed to attend the ball and now there's this latest embarrassment.
Are They Hiring?
Okay, we get it. You're hiring. You've made that very clear. Multiple times. What this company has failed to mention, however, is the job role. Not that that's in any way important. They are HIRING, people!
In fairness, the role might be pretty obvious based on the company, but even one-dimensional businesses have a variety of job roles, right? But maybe just they're not that fussy.
Did you ever watch that '90s horror movie that was set in a living room in rural Arizona? Actually, is this even a living room? Perhaps it's some kind of waiting room. So bizarre. As if the table leg dressings aren't weird enough, why are there four of them? Surely doing the front two would have sufficed.
That way, you would only be paranoid that a cowboy was hiding under your TV, rather than being paranoid that some kind of cowboy-spider mutation was taking over your entire house.
Warning: Artist At Work
Ah yes, the sign you'd expect to see resplendent on any high-end design department door. As if the running-out-space issue didn't already confirm your suspicions that this probably isn't the office of Saatchi & Saatchi, then the black insulation tape surely did.
Presumably, small to medium-sized pieces of cardboard are hard to come by at this company? This would at least explain why whoever wrote the sign didn't start over once they realized it wasn't exactly going to plan? To be fair, they'd already put in so much effort with those impressive 3D letters.
Although this photo would probably give Gordan Ramsey a heart attack, the "chef" scores high points for self-deprecation and self-awareness.
Kenny's description of chicken nuggets topped with macaroni and tomato ketchup is, let's be honest, tantalizing. Aged Himalayan cheddar? Yes please, chef Kenny! A dollop of vine-ripened tomato puree wouldn't go amiss either, thanks. Delicious.
When Your Toddler Climbs Under The Bedsheets
At first glance, we thought this was some kind of art installation. Upon closer inspection, we still think it might be — either that or the asphalt team have some serious questions to answer and the owner of the car will need to order a taxi home.
If only there was a similarly effective way to teach your dog (or your toddler) to not hide underneath those freshly changed bed sheets. Okay, asphalt is a bit extreme, but you get the point...
These Boots Were Made For Hunting
Whatever the motivation behind this, erm, unusual choice of a quiver, let's hope it's not a hunting trophy from his previous catch. If so, we wonder where he keeps the other one? Perhaps they sell these individually at Target (get it?), which would make complete sense.
We'd like to think this is his wife's way of showing moral support to her man while he's out in the forest. Either way, he's certainly redefining the term 'killer heels'. Let's just hope he doesn't get his butt kicked on this outing. Oh, wait. Too late.
Tucked In The Corner
It's difficult to resist making corny jokes about this purse. At least, we presume that's what this is supposed to be, based on the notes inside. For some reason, it's giving elementary school pencil case vibes, but maybe that's just us.
Obviously, the most useful thing about this curious little pouch is the disguise potential. One could smuggle all sorts of things in it without raising even the slightest suspicion. At the farmer's market, at least.
Very Slight Stage Fright
Credit has to go to the world's most dedicated carpet layer here, who could've understandably looked at this tiny little random platform and decided that it wasn't any of their business. Which it probably isn't in fairness.
However, they made it their business and the result is super cute. It's easy to picture Stuart Little or the cocky Sinatra-singing mouse from the movie Sing serenading their audience from this plinth. Hopefully, there's a CCTV camera focused on this corner at all times, because if our fantasy rodent concert takes place we don't want to miss it!
It's difficult to comment on this photo without using words usually found scrawled on high school locker doors or certain websites on the internet. Clearly, the design of this giant pencil and pencil sharpener was not thought through.
Alternatively, those responsible for this unfortunate stationary-themed monument don't have minds like ours. Perhaps all they see when they look at this is a pencil sharpener figure about to sharpen a pencil? Oh, to be innocent again.
Time To Clog Off
Crocs are having a moment according to fashionistas (apparently) so this might not age well, but as Shuri said to T'Challa in Black Panther: what are those?? It's almost impressive that a pair of shoes can look so childish and yet so menacing at the same time, but here we are.
In fairness, you can't mock their versatility. You can remove the steel toe caps and enjoy a day at the beach, then, when it's time to fight the armies of Sauron for the future of Middle Earth the toe caps can slide back on again.
That's Some View
The first thing we should say is that no, this isn't a prison. We'd imagine that's the first thing the realtor had to say as he showed would-be owners around for the first time as well.
When you imagine a balcony, you probably think about fresh air, some sort of view and possibly some flowers. Artificial lighting and a ceiling that wouldn't look out of place in the office of a struggling insurance firm? Not so much.
How Much Do You Want Off? Just A Slice
Some people may think this choice of hairstyle is cheesy, but it definitely takes confidence. It looks like it needs a lot of care and attention to prevent the ends from getting crusty, however.
Bravo to the pizza head guy for proudly parading his pepperoni in public, but also a huge shoutout to the hairdresser. Perhaps there are salons in Italy where this is a regular request? Oh, you'd like a Margherita fringe today, madam? Go and see Giovanni down the road, he's the best.
Thomas And No Friends
When Thomas the Tank Engine was promised an exciting career change, this isn't what he had in mind. Leaving behind the train depot was supposed to breathe new life into him and expand his horizons, but here he is parked up on some dirt track in rural Florida.
It would also appear that this new iteration of everyone's favorite tank engine isn't particularly useful in the dark, given that his headlights have been ripped out. Those blue wheels don't exactly look sturdy either. How could they do this to our beloved Thomas? How?
Whether the placement of this tattoo was intentional or not, this might just be one of the worst we've ever seen. Sure, there are some questionable tattoos out there and thousands of people with ink that they regret, but dirty underwear? Really?!
Positioning of the birthmark aside, let's just talk about the tattoo itself. These boxer briefs look 2D and resemble a block of Toblerone chocolate more than a set of Calvin's. It's probably a good thing we can't see the rest of this person's tattoo collection.
Don't Sleeve Me This Way
Not exactly a top you can throw on to greet the postman first thing in the morning, we presume this neck and arm warmer is for, well, keeping your neck and arms warm. But what about the rest of the upper body?
In fairness, waistcoats, vests, and sleeveless tees have become a thing, so why not flip it the other way round? Hey, if you suffer from an overly warm torso but cold limbs then this could be your new go-to item in the wardrobe. For $30 though, you'd at least expect a bit of midriff material.
Presumably, this is school uniform in the state of Texas? For gym class at least. At first glance, this hybrid appears to be an abomination, but if you think about it, the Nike basketball shoe and the cowboy boot are pillars of American culture. Surely this is a winning collab.
While this footwear might score high on unique style, it surely loses points for practicality. The cowboy element isn't likely to enhance your ability to sink a 3-pointer and, conversely, you don't see many folks riding a bucking bronco at the rodeo for a good reason.
Is anyone else really curious to see what the number on the price tag is? We're not sure why a guitar player would want this, since you can only play crappy music with it. They'll keep hitting a bum note.
That being said, if the sound produced is terrible then it might convince the man in your house to start putting the toilet seat down. What setlist would you like them to play, number one or number two?
These poor animals face constant criticism but they always take it on the chin. Is it just us, or could this be the American Dad version of Noah's Ark?
We may laugh at these creatures, but with a chin that any heavyweight boxer would be proud of, it's unlikely we'd do it in front of their (huge) faces. Especially the lion. And the tiger. And the crocodile. In fact, all of these animals would eat us for breakfast. Still quite funny though.
Ever wondered what to buy the person who has everything? We don't know either, but it definitely shouldn't be this cruel joke of a jigsaw puzzle.
This is the kind of thing they should force mischievous high school kids to complete in detention. We're sure plenty of pieces would end up getting lost, however.
When You See A Real Life Emoji
This little bowl of rice is so perfectly organized that you'd rightly feel terrible for spooning it onto your plate. Unfortunately, the rice also looks extremely appetizing.
Either that, or it's just one layer of neatly organized rice placed on top of an orange (or something similarly ball-shaped). We're that cynical.
Pull, But Don't Actually
There's a special place in hell reserved for these paper towel dispensers. It's almost as if they were designed to infuriate people and actually prevent them from drying their hands properly.
We've all been there. Frustration fast becomes anger, as you end up pulling out the entire stack of towels and standing there unsure what to do next.
This caption is funny and all, but we think those 'watermelons' look more like balloons. Which would explain a lot. Still, blowing up balloons at 3 a.m is still unusual.
What we want to know is, why is the person who took this photo peeking through their neighbor's window at 3 a.m? Justice for watermelon/ballon man!
Let It Grow, Let It Grow, Let It Grow
Let's hope this snowman (or snowwoman) isn't situated on a busy road, because there could definitely be accidents.
We wonder what this big booty snow beauty's workout routine is. Snowflake squats, presumably? Whatever it is, we need to snow.
Room For A Number Two?
If you happen to be someone who gets lonely while sitting on the toilet, this might just be the throne for you. That is presumably the only explanation for what's surely the most bizarre toilet ever built.
Either that or it's is a very peculiar custom coffin for... somebody who spent lots of time on the toilet? Who knows. We don't really care to know either! The fact is it's a crappy idea.
No pressure, but if you don't land your dart it'll hurt! This idea was obviously conceived by a frat boy in a college dorm.
Need to turn the light off before bed? Just hit the bullseye. We just hope the person living here has plenty of spare darts and even more spare lightbulbs.
Make It Make Sense
So it's a house? Or is it a house? It's probably just a house. We think we understand where these folks are coming from with their marketing gimmick, but they fell at the final hurdle.
If only they'd made that all-important change to the font of that first 'house'. Oh well. This house will just have to remain a house.
Not So Happy Birthday
This might just be the saddest birthday cake we've ever seen. Not only does Yoda look distraught, but it also looks like he might be melting.
Everyone's favorite intergalactic Jedi Master clearly isn't living his best life here and looks as if he could do with a cuddle and good night's sleep.
Pop It Like It's Hot
Ever woken up on a hot, sunny day and wondered whether it would be possible to spend it inside a giant water balloon? Well, this guy did, and he did exactly that!
Based on his facial expression, however, we're not sure it's everything he expected it to be. But we don't want to burst his bubble. Or pop his balloon.